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Series: Homestuck
Pairing: John/Karkat
Rating: X - Contains extremely poorly written buttsex
Length: 600 words by LibreOffice count
Warnings: This is stupid
Summary:Atma is no longer allowed to be in the HS fandom John rescues Karkat and they do kawaii yaoi.
“PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN YOU INSUFFERABLE SLIMEWAD!” shouted Princess Karkat as he flailed in Sir John's arms. “I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY BONE BULGE IS ROCK HARD RIGHT NOW AND IF YOU DON'T FUCKING SERVICE IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW I'LL SHIT MY RAGE SNAKE ALL OVER YOUR FACE!”
“Aww, look, he's blushing!” giggled Sir John, flomping the princess onto his big, fluffy, inviting bed. The pillows were heart shaped and everything! John really wanted to make this night special for his Princess and it appeared to be working already! A suspiciously happy lump formed at the front of Karkat's dress, giving his desires and lust away. He lay there, looking up at his knight fondly, growing ever caliginous for him.
“I'M NOT FUCKING GROWN BLACK FOR YOU, DIPSHIT, JUST GET ME OFF ALREADY, IT AIN'T FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE, EGBERT! I DUNNO HOW THEY DO IT ON EARTH, JUST GET TO FUCKING WORK SHAKING THAT RUMP OF YOURS!” Karkat snorted, crossing his arms and feeling his face turn red. His pretty, pretty pink dress ruffled under him, making him appear helpless and in need of dire undressing. “I NEED RUMPS, EGBERT! SOFT, PILLOWY FUCKING HUMAN RUMPS! RIGHT ON MY BULGE! COME ON, YOU INCOMPETENT KNOB-BOBBER, BEFORE I GET MY SCYTHE OUT!”
“Aww, you're so cute when you're cranky!” grinned John, giggling more, dropping his own knightly pants to reveal his holy lance. It was as hard and proud as could be, making the Princess ooh in amazement. He had no idea human pricks could get that large. As he looked in awe, drool ran down his chin, rendering him helpless when Sir John came over to undress him, giving his lips and cheeks a few soft kisses. “Cheer up, milady! You'll get your rewards now that I've saved you from the Abominable Snow-Dave!”
It was true. The Abominable Snow-Dave had terrorized the countryside with the illest beats you ever heard, rendering Princess Karkat of Alternia helpless when he came to terrorize his bottom. After being given a severe uke-ing, Sir John came in bravely and did The Windy Thing, scratching all of Snow-Dave's records and rendering him harmless. It was then that Karkat knew all his buckets were to be filled with this brave, handsome man. “Will you come with me back to Castle Prospit?” said John as birds circled him and lenses were flared. “OF FUCKING COURSE I WILL, SHITSTAIN, JUST FUCKING LEAD THE WAY!” replied Karkat, his bone quite bulging already. They rode the mighty Maplehoof back into town and up to Sir John's room where they lay now.
And thus Sir John turned around and showed his Princess his rump, wiggling it as it blushed as red as his face, inviting her to make herself comfortable inside. Karkat latched on and began to hump his rump like a crazed madman, his bone bulge leaking with a red trickle of happiness. Mutant drippings be damned, he felt like a Queen inside of his knight's rump, sticking it to him and groaning, clawing the knight's lance with his hand. “UNGH, YOU STUPID PINK FLESHY RUMP, UNG, HOW I AM GROWING BLACK FOR YOU, UNGH UNNNGH!”
With that, the two mischievous boys splattered happily on the silk bedsheets, making their maid Eridan clean it up with his tongue, kicking him in the face as he did. Stupid Eridan. His rump was not so good, so down the caste tubes he went. John and Karkat fell asleep in each others' arms, smiling warmly, shoosh and papping the whole night through.
Pairing: John/Karkat
Rating: X - Contains extremely poorly written buttsex
Length: 600 words by LibreOffice count
Warnings: This is stupid
Summary:
“PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN YOU INSUFFERABLE SLIMEWAD!” shouted Princess Karkat as he flailed in Sir John's arms. “I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY BONE BULGE IS ROCK HARD RIGHT NOW AND IF YOU DON'T FUCKING SERVICE IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW I'LL SHIT MY RAGE SNAKE ALL OVER YOUR FACE!”
“Aww, look, he's blushing!” giggled Sir John, flomping the princess onto his big, fluffy, inviting bed. The pillows were heart shaped and everything! John really wanted to make this night special for his Princess and it appeared to be working already! A suspiciously happy lump formed at the front of Karkat's dress, giving his desires and lust away. He lay there, looking up at his knight fondly, growing ever caliginous for him.
“I'M NOT FUCKING GROWN BLACK FOR YOU, DIPSHIT, JUST GET ME OFF ALREADY, IT AIN'T FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE, EGBERT! I DUNNO HOW THEY DO IT ON EARTH, JUST GET TO FUCKING WORK SHAKING THAT RUMP OF YOURS!” Karkat snorted, crossing his arms and feeling his face turn red. His pretty, pretty pink dress ruffled under him, making him appear helpless and in need of dire undressing. “I NEED RUMPS, EGBERT! SOFT, PILLOWY FUCKING HUMAN RUMPS! RIGHT ON MY BULGE! COME ON, YOU INCOMPETENT KNOB-BOBBER, BEFORE I GET MY SCYTHE OUT!”
“Aww, you're so cute when you're cranky!” grinned John, giggling more, dropping his own knightly pants to reveal his holy lance. It was as hard and proud as could be, making the Princess ooh in amazement. He had no idea human pricks could get that large. As he looked in awe, drool ran down his chin, rendering him helpless when Sir John came over to undress him, giving his lips and cheeks a few soft kisses. “Cheer up, milady! You'll get your rewards now that I've saved you from the Abominable Snow-Dave!”
It was true. The Abominable Snow-Dave had terrorized the countryside with the illest beats you ever heard, rendering Princess Karkat of Alternia helpless when he came to terrorize his bottom. After being given a severe uke-ing, Sir John came in bravely and did The Windy Thing, scratching all of Snow-Dave's records and rendering him harmless. It was then that Karkat knew all his buckets were to be filled with this brave, handsome man. “Will you come with me back to Castle Prospit?” said John as birds circled him and lenses were flared. “OF FUCKING COURSE I WILL, SHITSTAIN, JUST FUCKING LEAD THE WAY!” replied Karkat, his bone quite bulging already. They rode the mighty Maplehoof back into town and up to Sir John's room where they lay now.
And thus Sir John turned around and showed his Princess his rump, wiggling it as it blushed as red as his face, inviting her to make herself comfortable inside. Karkat latched on and began to hump his rump like a crazed madman, his bone bulge leaking with a red trickle of happiness. Mutant drippings be damned, he felt like a Queen inside of his knight's rump, sticking it to him and groaning, clawing the knight's lance with his hand. “UNGH, YOU STUPID PINK FLESHY RUMP, UNG, HOW I AM GROWING BLACK FOR YOU, UNGH UNNNGH!”
With that, the two mischievous boys splattered happily on the silk bedsheets, making their maid Eridan clean it up with his tongue, kicking him in the face as he did. Stupid Eridan. His rump was not so good, so down the caste tubes he went. John and Karkat fell asleep in each others' arms, smiling warmly, shoosh and papping the whole night through.
