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If you've known me for even a day, you'll know that, as a kid, I wanted nothing more than to grow up to be a knight.
Toy swords and shields were taken everywhere. I officially adopted the code of chivalry when I was 10. I went by Sir and not Princess. I did everything one possibly could to be a knight or warrior in a modern era. I even considered joining the Marines for a while as a kid. (Though with how history went for women and gays in the American military I am glad I changed my mind.) I've identified by a warrior's and protector's mindset more than I have any other aspect of me ever. Not how creative I am. Not how gay and flirtatious I am. Not how well I can cook or speak or read or write. It was this and this alone I used to majorly define myself.
The only thing that was missing was an actual degree in fighting and etiquette. You know, stuff that would actually help me accomplish this dream.
A year ago my father showed me a listing of classes being offered at a local rec center. One of them was Japanese Swordsmanship. He gave the guide to me and said this is something I should probably be checking out. I figured I had a long shot in actually joining it but I asked anyways. Everyone figured it'd get me out of the house doing something so it was okayed.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into in the best of ways.
At first it seemed like any other type of martial arts class, but I soon learned I was with an excellent teacher and an excellent school with a solid legacy. I was encouraged to get back into kickboxing and boxing like I had done as a kid to throw the rust off and get myself healthy and conditioned again. Eventually we added karate back in, and I'm excelling at it too. But my primary love of swords is tempered by everything else.
It's something I'm good at. Something that I enjoy, makes others proud, makes me proud. It's made me healthier and stronger and less depressed and able to cope easier. My neck issues are way down. It was the real deal; not some bullshit anime class, but actual swordsmanship with a grand legacy. One I will probably become a part of and be a teacher once I'm good enough myself. I've been good enough in one year to do two public demonstrations and be relied on to help around the school. I tested the limits of myself in May doing an 18 hour intensive training session and surviving. I've cut apples clean in two in mid air and drawn my sword out in a split second while cutting someone down. I am part of a rare school that takes combat practicality seriously and doesn't just use swords as meditative or sport form; this is as authentic as it gets. We are the odd ones out and love it.
I've become a better person.
No.
I've become the person I was meant to be and wanted to be all along.
I survived the first rocky year. Being new is the hardest. Where you fail most and get most frustrated. Where it all seems impossible. But once it's passed, you realize just how amazing it all is. My skills form my childhood fully recovered, and more importantly, I fulfilled my biggest dream.
I became a knight. Samurai, technically. A title that has come to fit me more in all respects. I live like one would and fight and train and protect like one would.
This is something I could do forever, and even if I were immortal, never perfect every aspect of. But it remains something perfect for me to pursue. It gave me life again and it's giving me a future career, possibly.
I lived by the sword and it paid off. Even nowadays, one can find meaning in the flash and cut of a blade. I can forge my soul and my heart by it and become the most reliable, strong person for everyone that I can be.
And I could ask for nothing more.
Yesterday marked one full year of swordsmanship classes with only one missed due to illness. Here's to many, many more years, up to a whole lifetime, with as little floating by me as possible.
And fuck the haters forever more.
Toy swords and shields were taken everywhere. I officially adopted the code of chivalry when I was 10. I went by Sir and not Princess. I did everything one possibly could to be a knight or warrior in a modern era. I even considered joining the Marines for a while as a kid. (Though with how history went for women and gays in the American military I am glad I changed my mind.) I've identified by a warrior's and protector's mindset more than I have any other aspect of me ever. Not how creative I am. Not how gay and flirtatious I am. Not how well I can cook or speak or read or write. It was this and this alone I used to majorly define myself.
The only thing that was missing was an actual degree in fighting and etiquette. You know, stuff that would actually help me accomplish this dream.
A year ago my father showed me a listing of classes being offered at a local rec center. One of them was Japanese Swordsmanship. He gave the guide to me and said this is something I should probably be checking out. I figured I had a long shot in actually joining it but I asked anyways. Everyone figured it'd get me out of the house doing something so it was okayed.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into in the best of ways.
At first it seemed like any other type of martial arts class, but I soon learned I was with an excellent teacher and an excellent school with a solid legacy. I was encouraged to get back into kickboxing and boxing like I had done as a kid to throw the rust off and get myself healthy and conditioned again. Eventually we added karate back in, and I'm excelling at it too. But my primary love of swords is tempered by everything else.
It's something I'm good at. Something that I enjoy, makes others proud, makes me proud. It's made me healthier and stronger and less depressed and able to cope easier. My neck issues are way down. It was the real deal; not some bullshit anime class, but actual swordsmanship with a grand legacy. One I will probably become a part of and be a teacher once I'm good enough myself. I've been good enough in one year to do two public demonstrations and be relied on to help around the school. I tested the limits of myself in May doing an 18 hour intensive training session and surviving. I've cut apples clean in two in mid air and drawn my sword out in a split second while cutting someone down. I am part of a rare school that takes combat practicality seriously and doesn't just use swords as meditative or sport form; this is as authentic as it gets. We are the odd ones out and love it.
I've become a better person.
No.
I've become the person I was meant to be and wanted to be all along.
I survived the first rocky year. Being new is the hardest. Where you fail most and get most frustrated. Where it all seems impossible. But once it's passed, you realize just how amazing it all is. My skills form my childhood fully recovered, and more importantly, I fulfilled my biggest dream.
I became a knight. Samurai, technically. A title that has come to fit me more in all respects. I live like one would and fight and train and protect like one would.
This is something I could do forever, and even if I were immortal, never perfect every aspect of. But it remains something perfect for me to pursue. It gave me life again and it's giving me a future career, possibly.
I lived by the sword and it paid off. Even nowadays, one can find meaning in the flash and cut of a blade. I can forge my soul and my heart by it and become the most reliable, strong person for everyone that I can be.
And I could ask for nothing more.
Yesterday marked one full year of swordsmanship classes with only one missed due to illness. Here's to many, many more years, up to a whole lifetime, with as little floating by me as possible.
And fuck the haters forever more.
