(no subject)

[atma]

Apparently, while I was ~inebriated~ last night I thought it a good idea to write a bawdy tavern song/poem. It's dumb but surprisingly coherent. I have no idea what I was thinking or aiming for, but here it is.

Warning: NSFW text and crude language/slang. So if you don't like that sort of thing, please pretend this doesn't exist and move on.

Cavalier corsair Captain Cecily
Carpetmunching terror of the wide open sea
Would tear bodice and drawers
Of all the local corner whores
Dock into every portside village
And all daughters raped and pillage
Oh cavalier corsair Captain Cecily

You never met a tribade quite as free
As cavalier corsair Captain Cecily
Had no mind to give to chivalry
Preferring drunken, slutty revelry
Using only rapier edge and wit
To grope your wife's ass and tits
Oh cavalier corsair Captain Cecily

Husbands scorned loudly decreed
For the death of cavalier corsair Captain Cecily
Their cocks and honor feeling debased
As their wives bragged about her embrace
Though they were as inept in chase as they were in bed
Still catching her giving their daughters head
Oh cavalier corsair Captain Cecily

I am sad to say that out at sea
No longer sails cavalier corsair Captain Cecily
Was caught pants down while on the hunt
Her eyes leering deep in the duchess' cunt
For her crimes, she was dragged and hung
Leaving behind a body beautiful and young
Oh cavalier corsair Captain Cecily

Though just between you and me
The ghost of cavalier corsair Captain Cecily
Can still be seen at the local docks at night
Her loins just as lusty and her face alight
Drawing young maidens short of breath
Joining her in a sweet, sapphic, dance of death
Oh cavalier corsair Captain Cecily

I might actually edit or clean this up so it makes a bit more sense/flows better as I actually stupidly like it. I'm kind of proud of myself for making enough sense and write it all the way through. I can think of worse drunken escapades to wake up discovering I'd done.

Comments

[elfwannabe]

Atma, you are the most amazing ever. That is all.

[atma]

iyaaaaaan beth-senpai