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Words In This Update - 1569
Total Words So Far - 49207
Just woke up. Had a dream about apparently getting a house on a farm in the lamia jungles, happily farming coffee, cocoa, and fruit for juices. I had on some kind of odd, wide brimmed hat made out of straw, and Lock was in an apron and nothing else. I was constantly tinkering with new machines to use to harvest this and would ship our goods by plane. Everyone was amazed by me, as you should so wont to be anyways, especially by now, but it felt like I'd brought civilization with me. Brought it to the whole world. Everyone thought I was cool, all the ladies wanted to be impregnated by me, as that was something I had invented then was a way for me to do that, ensuring my legacy. But ladies, please, I was only loyal to Lock. As I looked out on to my fields, I saw some kids throwing rocks at Yukina, who was having to do all the dirty work, constantly thanking me for sparing her life and giving her work on par with her attitude to make up for what she did to us. Seeing these kids rag on her gave me a sense of pride for some reason. This is when Kattu wanders in, carrying a jug of urine on her hip, cackling about results and somehow breathing fire. Oh shit, time to wake up, I suppose. Thanks, brain.
There she was, too, poking me at the bedside. A sadistic grin was on her face and her left eye bugged out, but since when doesn't she do that? You should all assume by now she was just permanently happy and dosed up on something and that if she didn't look like this, you'd assume something was wrong. Still, it's giving me the chills. A slip of paper was in her hand, passing it into my palm and kissing my forehead. Fine, I'll look at it, I said.
Wait what how did this happen and this can't no I (Isrra's note: Her writing here is nigh unreadable and appears to be more frustrated scratchings than anything. Someone had a fit. Seeing as what I copied over next, I can't say I would blame her. And that's the first and only time I think I'll find myself agreeing with her. I feel tainted.)
Let's start this all over again, shall we? Once more, from the top. Got to sound professional for this, there's no way I can let history remember me otherwise.
So yeah. About all that piss test taking and whatnot. I just got the results back, having said they gladly used every drop, which I am not even sure that they didn't drink it still and are just making shit up using whatever herbal bullshit they want to instead, but Kattu just came in and woke me up to tell me congratulations, and that I had passed with flying colors. Then laughed at the fact she said it was flying. And that I was a pilot. So of course that's how I would do it. If it weren't for the fact I was honestly kind of curious as to what she had to say, I would have killed her with my glare alone.
I'm pregnant. No other way around saying it. That would explain some of the dream, but I thought I was the one making everyone have my kids, not the other way around! I stared at Lock, who was still snoring, I stared at the paper, I stared at Kattu. She just waved. Nnon to Basira, she said, knocking on the side of my head gently like one would a door before entering. I didn't even feel it. I just stood there, staring up at her. This had to be a joke, right? But as I said, the dream. The vomiting. All the sex I'd had lately. Wait, does Lock even have a prick somewhere inside her to do that with? Can dragonkin do that without having one? What's going on, I demand answers.
Turns out I tested positive for a mighty fuckload of fertility drugs. As did Lock. They'd scraped a bit of wall sampling from inside her while she rested, just in case, and she was positively soaking in them. Turns out those seeds I was giving her back in the Solim Mines were baby making buds, not mind control bits. Easy to confuse, oopsie, oh well, she said. I know now Lock was faking it just to give me a bad time, but I wonder if she had any idea what it was she was taking. Somehow, these buds just made whoever you had sex with next massively pregnant. I don't know how, or why, I'll just say science and nature are both a load of crap. Either way, this would explain the whole bit about me not being able to drink either. Time to load up on fruit juices more, lemonade ought to set any kid I have healthy from the get go. Oh, don't look at me like that, you honestly expected me to rid my body of its presence? Fat chance, an heir is an heir, no matter how expected, and they will inherit the sky I took. It's all just a matter of if Lock wants to help me raise them or not.
I'm gonna go sit a while and wait for her to get up and explain this all. I'll be back when she's up. For now, I'm just gonna go eat and make sure I got enough wolf peppers and orange sauce on my pigsteak for my kid, too. The raising of another genius begins here, and I fully intend to put in as much work raising them as I did achieving flight by oil, showing the world that the only magic you needed to fuel your plane is the one in your heart or some kind of other sentimental bullshit. Note to self: Pregnancy and kids make you a sap. Well, save for Icilina, but she's just a horror child so who cares.
(Israa's note: The remnants of her meal's sauce are all over this, somehow, after all this time. Must have been a lot more extra than she had thought.)
Lock and I talked a while after she got up. I plied her with a barrel of that fresh shipment of that liquor that Ikka was looking for, as it was part of my reward. Thanks for giving me something even more fucking useless than a sword or some shit. Maybe it was payment for Lock, as she didn't get much beyond just general acceptance as a Stormlock, but I suppose that's all she could want is a place where she feels welcomed and can be well fed. Either way, she cracked it open, put a mug in, slurped from it, and kissed my cheek sloppily, other arm around me. She was amused by all this. Especially the part about her being the father. Should have known anyone I wound up with would be just as cracked out as I was. Even more reason to stick around and see what the boss did too, she said.
I just held her, crying again. It has been along couple weeks. Way more than I had ever anticipated has happened, and not even my amazing brain can quite handle it all. My diary's about out of paper now, too, meaning I'll have to shove off onto another one and make notes for you future generations on how to properly raise your kids. Here's hoping those techniques are passed down and raised you little whelps properly.
It's been a ride. Up and down. And other cheesy metaphors vaguely referring to me and my plane and my dream and my partner. I'm ready to sleep for about a week after I go bring everything in. Yukina is sentenced to work as Ikka's footstool for the next couple hundred years, only earning breaks to use the bathroom, and only supervised, with Mimi batting at her face forevermore, a medal around her neck like a collar, and I couldn't be happier. I just hope Icilina hasn't done anything weird like draw pricks all over the side of my plane. What a brat.
I left my mark all over history. Like a big, hot stream of piss. You're all cordially invited to suck it, and I know you will. I'm not dumb, I know hot moms are a thing everyone loves.
I await those statues of me. Don't be late getting those up! I want to make sure it's the first thing my kid sees when they come out! You don't want to ruin the poor kid, now do you? They'll probably be your boss or your boss' boss, so better start sucking up to the Nejem empire now!
-Basira Nejem, Inheritor Of The Realm Of Light, Ultra Genius, Your Savior
Lunchtime of the sixteenth day of the third week of spring in the year 367 which is about how many pages this diary had. Funny how that works out sometimes.
(Israa's note: Yeah, that was it. I'm done, praise Laeshann. I'll make up a report for this. By the gods, I don't know if I can turn this over yet. We'll see after I summarize this dreadful experience. I need coffee, and about a few liters of it, too. Ow, my head. Ow, my hands.)
Total Words So Far - 49207
Just woke up. Had a dream about apparently getting a house on a farm in the lamia jungles, happily farming coffee, cocoa, and fruit for juices. I had on some kind of odd, wide brimmed hat made out of straw, and Lock was in an apron and nothing else. I was constantly tinkering with new machines to use to harvest this and would ship our goods by plane. Everyone was amazed by me, as you should so wont to be anyways, especially by now, but it felt like I'd brought civilization with me. Brought it to the whole world. Everyone thought I was cool, all the ladies wanted to be impregnated by me, as that was something I had invented then was a way for me to do that, ensuring my legacy. But ladies, please, I was only loyal to Lock. As I looked out on to my fields, I saw some kids throwing rocks at Yukina, who was having to do all the dirty work, constantly thanking me for sparing her life and giving her work on par with her attitude to make up for what she did to us. Seeing these kids rag on her gave me a sense of pride for some reason. This is when Kattu wanders in, carrying a jug of urine on her hip, cackling about results and somehow breathing fire. Oh shit, time to wake up, I suppose. Thanks, brain.
There she was, too, poking me at the bedside. A sadistic grin was on her face and her left eye bugged out, but since when doesn't she do that? You should all assume by now she was just permanently happy and dosed up on something and that if she didn't look like this, you'd assume something was wrong. Still, it's giving me the chills. A slip of paper was in her hand, passing it into my palm and kissing my forehead. Fine, I'll look at it, I said.
Wait what how did this happen and this can't no I (Isrra's note: Her writing here is nigh unreadable and appears to be more frustrated scratchings than anything. Someone had a fit. Seeing as what I copied over next, I can't say I would blame her. And that's the first and only time I think I'll find myself agreeing with her. I feel tainted.)
Let's start this all over again, shall we? Once more, from the top. Got to sound professional for this, there's no way I can let history remember me otherwise.
So yeah. About all that piss test taking and whatnot. I just got the results back, having said they gladly used every drop, which I am not even sure that they didn't drink it still and are just making shit up using whatever herbal bullshit they want to instead, but Kattu just came in and woke me up to tell me congratulations, and that I had passed with flying colors. Then laughed at the fact she said it was flying. And that I was a pilot. So of course that's how I would do it. If it weren't for the fact I was honestly kind of curious as to what she had to say, I would have killed her with my glare alone.
I'm pregnant. No other way around saying it. That would explain some of the dream, but I thought I was the one making everyone have my kids, not the other way around! I stared at Lock, who was still snoring, I stared at the paper, I stared at Kattu. She just waved. Nnon to Basira, she said, knocking on the side of my head gently like one would a door before entering. I didn't even feel it. I just stood there, staring up at her. This had to be a joke, right? But as I said, the dream. The vomiting. All the sex I'd had lately. Wait, does Lock even have a prick somewhere inside her to do that with? Can dragonkin do that without having one? What's going on, I demand answers.
Turns out I tested positive for a mighty fuckload of fertility drugs. As did Lock. They'd scraped a bit of wall sampling from inside her while she rested, just in case, and she was positively soaking in them. Turns out those seeds I was giving her back in the Solim Mines were baby making buds, not mind control bits. Easy to confuse, oopsie, oh well, she said. I know now Lock was faking it just to give me a bad time, but I wonder if she had any idea what it was she was taking. Somehow, these buds just made whoever you had sex with next massively pregnant. I don't know how, or why, I'll just say science and nature are both a load of crap. Either way, this would explain the whole bit about me not being able to drink either. Time to load up on fruit juices more, lemonade ought to set any kid I have healthy from the get go. Oh, don't look at me like that, you honestly expected me to rid my body of its presence? Fat chance, an heir is an heir, no matter how expected, and they will inherit the sky I took. It's all just a matter of if Lock wants to help me raise them or not.
I'm gonna go sit a while and wait for her to get up and explain this all. I'll be back when she's up. For now, I'm just gonna go eat and make sure I got enough wolf peppers and orange sauce on my pigsteak for my kid, too. The raising of another genius begins here, and I fully intend to put in as much work raising them as I did achieving flight by oil, showing the world that the only magic you needed to fuel your plane is the one in your heart or some kind of other sentimental bullshit. Note to self: Pregnancy and kids make you a sap. Well, save for Icilina, but she's just a horror child so who cares.
(Israa's note: The remnants of her meal's sauce are all over this, somehow, after all this time. Must have been a lot more extra than she had thought.)
Lock and I talked a while after she got up. I plied her with a barrel of that fresh shipment of that liquor that Ikka was looking for, as it was part of my reward. Thanks for giving me something even more fucking useless than a sword or some shit. Maybe it was payment for Lock, as she didn't get much beyond just general acceptance as a Stormlock, but I suppose that's all she could want is a place where she feels welcomed and can be well fed. Either way, she cracked it open, put a mug in, slurped from it, and kissed my cheek sloppily, other arm around me. She was amused by all this. Especially the part about her being the father. Should have known anyone I wound up with would be just as cracked out as I was. Even more reason to stick around and see what the boss did too, she said.
I just held her, crying again. It has been along couple weeks. Way more than I had ever anticipated has happened, and not even my amazing brain can quite handle it all. My diary's about out of paper now, too, meaning I'll have to shove off onto another one and make notes for you future generations on how to properly raise your kids. Here's hoping those techniques are passed down and raised you little whelps properly.
It's been a ride. Up and down. And other cheesy metaphors vaguely referring to me and my plane and my dream and my partner. I'm ready to sleep for about a week after I go bring everything in. Yukina is sentenced to work as Ikka's footstool for the next couple hundred years, only earning breaks to use the bathroom, and only supervised, with Mimi batting at her face forevermore, a medal around her neck like a collar, and I couldn't be happier. I just hope Icilina hasn't done anything weird like draw pricks all over the side of my plane. What a brat.
I left my mark all over history. Like a big, hot stream of piss. You're all cordially invited to suck it, and I know you will. I'm not dumb, I know hot moms are a thing everyone loves.
I await those statues of me. Don't be late getting those up! I want to make sure it's the first thing my kid sees when they come out! You don't want to ruin the poor kid, now do you? They'll probably be your boss or your boss' boss, so better start sucking up to the Nejem empire now!
-Basira Nejem, Inheritor Of The Realm Of Light, Ultra Genius, Your Savior
Lunchtime of the sixteenth day of the third week of spring in the year 367 which is about how many pages this diary had. Funny how that works out sometimes.
(Israa's note: Yeah, that was it. I'm done, praise Laeshann. I'll make up a report for this. By the gods, I don't know if I can turn this over yet. We'll see after I summarize this dreadful experience. I need coffee, and about a few liters of it, too. Ow, my head. Ow, my hands.)
